Bad..Bad..Bad mood~

Assalamualaikum & a very gud day to all...

Okay, straight to da point.. Am depressed!! Urmm.. its all started few hours before my shift ends.. Mmmm.. I work to day wif only my junior & two senior staffs but they were not SRN.. And yes, he is an able SRN.. I respected dat! But da thing is am da senior SRN in da ward & am scared.. I have lotsa things to learn, am scared if sumthing happen & I can't handle.. Am scared!! Yes, u might said dat there is a seniors in da other ward but dat is her ward & diz is not her ward, its mine (for diz shift je..) Man, am so scared like hell if I screwed up & I can't manage it.. Am so lost...

Luckily none of my patients are in bad conditions.. The were all fine accept for 1 pt in bladder irrigation, well dat pt was not bad at all juz change da n/saline irrigation before its finish & measure his urine output.. Dat was not bad at all, seriously.. Another lethargic pt, her relatives accompanied her & we juz observe her conditions je...

There is 1 event dat I still rememba & its stressed me out.. Dr M asked me to call Dr T to review his pt.. I seriously tot dat Dr T knew everyting b'coz my seniors already called him thrice before.. I juz wanted to remind him & Dr T said dat he doesn't know at all?? WTH!! Are u kidding me?? Dr T repeated so many time "Dun u understand??" & yes, I understand wat he is try to convey but plz do not repeat dat sentences so many times.. Am not stupid, am juz a learner.. Fortunately, Dr M saves da day & yes am still wif my funckin' smile eventho... Argghh!!

When I passed da report to evening shift, I seriously tot dat I missed so many things & am once again..lost! Am so sorry, am too scared but I tried to pass da report da best as I could but still am not satisfied on wat I've done.. Huh, I easily got depressed on myself & all da bad & -ve tots are all flyin' in my mind rite.. Plus da probs dat I get from my vaca.. Hurmm, so fuckin' depressin'...


Now am at home, still havin' da headache &  all dat bad tots is also in my mind.. Never come out after I walk put da hospital pun.. I should leave all da probs at the exit but I dun.. Am too scared.. Urmm.. I wonder if I drink calamine lotion, wat would it taste? Is it tasty or is it too bitter, urmm.. I wonder~

Urmm, mcm sedap je~

 Okay laa, nak try fikir secara normal lak.. Wish me luck tau nak halau perasaan sangap ni.. Till then, xoxo~