Inside & outside...

I always write sumthng here when am sad or lonely.. Or juz.. But now am so sad.. Inside & outside.. It has always been my dream to go out wif him despites his condition.. Sumtimes I pushed him to say 'YES' but he always give a perfect reason dat I couldn't argue more.. I know him, I know his condition, his past life.. I know him very well but.. Sumtimes it drives me to be sad.. I luv him.. I know I luv him but.. When am to deppresed with him, I cried.. And I hate dat.. I wants to understand him inside & outside but sumtimes I failed to do dat.. I.. I wanna cry more.. Later...